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An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
his fools. -- Ernest Hemingway

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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
 -- Paul Hornung
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24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
 -- H.L. Mencken
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When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let''s all get drunk and go to heaven! -- George Bernard Shaw
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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
 -- Benjamin Franklin
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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. -- Dave Barry
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BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
-- W. C. Fields
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Remember "I"! before "E", except in Budweiser. -- Professor Irwin Corey

To some it''s a six-pack, to me it''s a "support group." Salvation in a
can! -- Leo Durocher
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One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his
buddy Norm: "Well ya see, Norm, it''s like this. A herd of buffalo can
only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted,
it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the
general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human
brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive
intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it
attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular
consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain
a faster and more efficient machine! That''s why you always feel smarter
after a few beers."